Brandon and I had a long talk this week about which things are really important to us for our wedding, and how we envision the entire event.

I have always loved the idea of an autumn wedding; not all orange and yellow with pumpkins and scarecrows, but just the time of year and atmosphere, and we agree that Santa Fe in the fall is one of the most beautiful times of the year. Because of our constraints regarding Brandon's school, etc., we decided that early September 2005 would be a good time to get married. The aspens will be changing, the chilies will be roasting, and there will be a pleasant nip in the air. I've never wanted an all-outdoor wedding, so weather won't really be an issue; if it's sunny, it's beautiful, if it's snowy or rainy, it'll still be beautiful.

As we talked, we discovered that having both the ceremony and the reception in beautiful, unique places is important to us. We don't want to have to settle for the drab church hall or harvest gold hotel ballroom just because we are on a budget, so location will be a big factor for us. Getting married in a church would be nice, but it is not 100% important to us. More important would be being in a place we love with the people we love.

Here's a summary of what we envision: The wedding would be on one of the first weekends in September 2005, on a Friday or a Saturday in the early afternoon. We haven't decided on a ceremony or reception site yet, but we want the site to be unique and beautiful so that it speaks for itself and fewer decorations are required. Both the ceremony and reception will be simple, elegant, and intimate. We want no more than 40-50 guests, including ourselves and the bridal party.

The ceremony should be short and sweet. I would prefer an organist or other live music over taped, but it isn't a huge priority. Brandon would like a unity candle as part of the ceremony, and we would both like to write some of our own vows.

The reception would be an hour or so after the ceremony (to allow for photographs) in the mid afternoon. We don't want a full meal, but we feel that guests do not live by cake alone. We envision a small space with tables and chairs set up and a small area for dancing (not necessarily a formal dancefloor, but space). We would like to have plain rented linens and tableware (plates, forks, glasses) and simple centerpieces of grouped candles or something similarly elegant but inexpensive. For food, we want to have simple delicious snack food like cheese and fruit, crudites, and possibly some other sort of finger food. We will have tea and coffee and, if we can afford it, champagne for toasting. No other alcohol or beverages are necessary. We want a small, elegant cake of two tiers. If we need more, we will order a sheet cake in the same flavor.

We don't want a DJ or band for entertainment. Brandon and I will compile and burn mixed CDs ahead of time for the reception music. Since the reception will be intimate, we won't need a large sound system, possibly no more than a home stereo with a microphone (if necessary) for toasts, etc. I have always wanted to have a first dance with my new husband and a dance with my Dad, so we need at least a small space for dancing. Our main concern with the reception is to have time to be with the people we love and really get a chance to talk to everyone.

The reception shouldn't last more than 3 or 4 hours at the longest. We would like a "grand exit" from the reception rather than the church with the rice (or whatever) toss and our getaway vehicle. Brandon wants to rent some kind of fun car to drive rather than a limo. We want to spend the evening alone together with a romantic dinner for two somewhere while family and friends can gather as they like for dinner elsewhere.

The next morning we would like to get together with any of our guests who are still there for a farewell brunch somewhere. This should be simple and low key -- a planned meal rather than a party -- maybe held at the hotel or at an inexpensive family restaurant. We just want a chance to spend a little more time with our friends and family before they go home and we go on our honeymoon!

A few other notes: Good photos are high on our list of important elements, so engaging a professional photographer that we like will be an important expense. We have also decided that we do not want to hire a videographer. If we can find someone to videotape the ceremony, that would be nice, but we are not willing to pay top dollar for this.

Also, I've given it a lot of thought, and it is important to me to have my friends stand up with me and be my bridesmaids. I think I will just pick a color and a style of dress and then let them choose their own. That way, they can spend what they can afford and maybe even like the dress enough to wear it again! I don't care if Brandon doesn't have three attendants and the sides are off balance, it's just important to me to have my friends be a part of this with me.

I don't really have many ideas about flowers yet, but as I said above, we want to pick a place that stands on its own so that tons of flowers and decorations are not necessary. Maybe we could have an altar arrangement that we then take to the reception for the cake table or whatever. Bridesmaid bouquets can also double as table decorations, etc. I also don't mind the idea of making our own bouquets. Simple and elegant are the buzz words here. Maybe order the corsages, boutonnieres etc. to save our sanity, and make the expensive things.

Finally, I'm not big on chintzy guest favors. I would rather have something meaningful, like a personal thank you note for each guest.